Fullweird Al-Chemist - An Introduction!
It's about "Weird Al" Yankovic, not artificial intelligence.
Good day!
Some of you may already know me as a guy who writes a lot about old-school pro wrestling. I’ve been ‘Stacking about pre-determined underwear fighting for a little over two years now, and I’m still going to do the absolute heck out of that, so DON’T PANIC!
However, I figured I’d also start on another project that I think is going to be a lot of fun.
Aside from pro wrestling, another major passion of mine is music. I already write about old metal albums for CGCM Rock Radio’s website (seriously, if you partake in hard rock and heavy metal, download the Live365 app and make those guys part of your listening diet). However, I’m going to wildly depart from that and use the Stack of Sub to write about a subject that’s decidedly not metal: “Weird Al” Yankovic.
Why Al, specifically?
Well, it’s because I’ve been a dedicated fan for over three decades now, and he was pretty much my gateway into music. You see, young Ryan gave nary a hoot about music. However, one day, when my mother was cleaning apartments to help pay for my braces, she stumbled across a couple of loose cassettes that would change my life: “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “In 3-D” and “Dare To Be Stupid” albums.
Much like when my mother showed me wrestling on TV in order to keep me off of Nintendo for a while, she had no idea what monster she would unleash. I not so much listened to those albums as I injected them directly into my bloodstream. I picked up some other albums of Al’s, made 90-minute compilation cassettes for anyone who had ears, and digested hours upon hours of MuchMusic and “The Hit List” with Tarzan Dan (now THERE’S a memory unlock for some of my fellow Canadian olds) in the hopes of seeing one of his music videos.
During my MuchMusic bingeing, I discovered that other music was really darn good (unlike my wrestling articles where the profanity flows like wine, there will be minimal swearing in this series). Also, Al’s parodies turned me on to the originals, which again, were often great and got me into a lot of other music. Currently, my first love is heavy metal, but I’ll listen to darn near anything, thanks to Al.
For this project, I’ll be doing quick articles for individual songs. Well, I say “quick”, but, depending on the tune, I may end up being super-verbose. I do that a lot. I’ll discuss my opinion of the song in question and bring up some relevant trivia, facts, and personal anecdotes, kind of like what I do with the wrestling reviews.
What determines the songs I discuss? Random chance, of course!
I’ve taken the eligible Weird Al songs and plugged them into a handy dandy Excel spreadsheet. I will then use a random number generator to determine the subject of the article.
Leaving everything in the hands of the random number gods. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Yes, I’m going to be using Fullmetal Alchemist-style eyecatchers for these articles. Why? Because they’re fun to make!
Now, here’s everyone’s favorite part when it comes to these kinds of projects: THE GROUND RULES!
Most commercially available songs are on the table, baby, along with some odds and ends that are easily accessible and provide material for me to discuss. However, there will need to be some lines drawn in the sand. Said lines are listed below:
I won’t be doing much in the way of super deep-cut Dr. Demento tracks or anything that's exceedingly rare, brief, or minor.
Instrumentals will not be on the table, so nothing from “Peter & The Wolf” will be discussed. Also, I won’t be writing about any of the instrumental soundtrack music from the historically accurate biopic, Weird. Most tragically, though, “Fun Zone” from the UHF soundtrack will also not make the cut.
Speaking of Weird, I won’t do the 2022 versions of existing songs, like “My Bologna”, “Like a Surgeon”, and others in separate entries, but I’ll most likely bring them up when I discuss the original recording.
No skits, so we will have to leave “Gandhi II” and “Spatula City” in the dust. I’ll give you time to mourn and/or rage.
With deepest apologies to any Fred Huggins fans out there, there won’t be entries on songs exclusive to The Weird Al Show or from the assorted AlTV/Almusic specials. Really, how much can one talk about “Stupid Haircut”?
Wow, that was a lot of negativity. Why are you still here?!?
Alright, enough of that junk. Within the next little bit, expect things to get WEIRD around here!
Subscribe to get in on the fun, and share with your friends!
Subscribe to Ryan’s Reviews if you like wrestling!
If you're into classic metal, check out Ryan Ranks on the CGCM Rock Radio site!
Add me on BlueSky!
Also! If you’re not getting this in your email inbox, it might be in your junk/spam folder. Just mark me as “not spam”, and you’ll get the emails again!
This is extremely relevant to my interests.
Can’t wait for the first review!